You’re Both Wrong

“Change works only when people believe it is happening for them, not to them.”

__Danny Meyer, Setting the Table: The Transforming Power of Hospitality in Business“.”

The next time you find yourself entangled in an argument or conflict remember this: You’re both wrong. 

How could it be otherwise?

We live in a world full of imperfect people and just like two wrongs don’t make a right, two imperfect people are never perfectly right.

So, be realistic, kind and patient – with the both of you.

And whatever you do, when you find yourself in an argument, don’t make it your goal to win the argument.  And when you find yourself in a conflict don’t make it your goal to defeat your opponent.

What good is that?

Even if you win you’re going to now have an imperfect offended person on the other side of the argument.  That doesn’t sound like that good a deal to me.  Matter of fact, make a practice of doing that in a marriage or other relationship and eventually you’ll be living in hell. 

And the thing about hell is that it’s bottomless.  Every “win” just digs a deeper hole and one day you win your last argument and the other person gives up and there’s nothing left to discuss.

The ONE THING for today: If you must take the bait and wade in on an argument or conflict practice a little humility.  Of course they’re wrong – why would you be wading in?  But you, not being omniscient, are wrong too.  Tread lightly, shoot for a real win, something that makes both sides better.