There’s a Rule for That

“I know someone who always thinks it will take her five minutes to get to the store because she made the journey in five minutes once.”

— Greg Mckeown, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less

Several years ago Sonja and I got hooked on a television series called NCIS.  One of the main characters was Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs.  He was a team leader and one of the things he was famous for was his rules – they were referred to as “Gibbs Rules.”

Anytime there would be a tough decision to make he’d pull out one of his rules to point the way.  Soon his team would do the same— “Remember Rule #…”

Gibbs challenged me. 

First, it occurred to me that I shouldn’t have to make up my mind about most things but once.  Why go through life trying to figure out what to do when, in very similar circumstances, you’ve already made that decision dozens of times? 

Let me give you an example.  One of the rules on my list is: Use the turn signal every time. 

For about 15 years I drove to work every day from a nice little sub-division tucked away in a growing and bustling town called Fort Mill.  Most days, usually several times a day, I’d pull out of my quiet neighborhood, take a right on to a quiet county road, and soon pull up to a stop sign at the intersection of a very busy road where, invariably, I’d have to wait for traffic. 

There is no way I can calculate the times I sat there and waited – usually in a hurry – for an on-coming car to pass only to have them slow down and turn onto the road I was patiently (well let’s be honest, it was usually impatiently) waiting. 

Egh! If only they had given their turn signal I wouldn’t have had to wait!

Didn’t it dawn on these unthoughtful people that I had a life too!?  It was so frustrating.  Matter of fact, I became convinced that pretty much no one in South Carolina used their turn signal.  (By the way, I remain convinced.)

This went on for years until one day I remembered one of God’s rules – the Law of Reciprocity – you reap what you sow.

It occurred to me that someone had to change; someone had to model the right behavior.  Why not let it be me.  Afterall, even though it may be news to most drivers, using your turn-signal when making a turn is the law. 

So did God’s law of reciprocity work?  Absolutely.

God moved me to North Dakota where the people are the nicest, most law-abiding citizens on the planet.  Almost everyone uses their turn signals.  It was paradise!

Of course I discovered why those dear Peace Garden State citizens are such nice and law-abiding citizens…God froze the meanness out of them!

But here’s the deal.  Once I made the decision to always use my turn-signal I didn’t have to go through life deciding whether or not to turn my blinker on.  There was none of that, “Nobody’s coming, what’s the use?” or “Nobody else is using their turn-signal, why should I?”  Nope, the rule is: Always use your turn signal and that’s that. 

Life is full of opportunities like that – opportunities to take control of your life and make a choice once and then get on with the rest of your life. 

I have more to say about this (No surprise there, right?) but for now…

The ONE THING for today: Every time you find yourself repeatedly being frustrated and wondering what to do, make a rule and then repeatedly keep your rule instead of repeatedly being frustrated.