The news on Kathy is largely unchanged and that is good. No appreciable movement on her numbers either way, one was slightly up and one was slightly down. However, doctors were very pleased with this cycle with the only concern being a lower than normal hemoglobin of 9.6. In truth, Kathy has not eaten well this time with low appetite and so we must do better next cycle. Her weight is down a few pounds and they are stressing to her to build up her weight. Kathy laughed and remarked she had never had a doctor encourage her weight gain! (Cold Stone Creamery, here she comes!)
We spent a good deal of time this past week in “waiting” moments. The urologist office was first (10:00am appointment) where we finally met the doctor at 11:15am. Then today, another appointment was delayed about 45 minutes from its scheduled time. It annoyed me and as I considered that much of the past two years we have spent waiting…
- Waiting for the results of the colonoscopy that revealed Kathy’s cancer
- Waiting through the weekend for the surgery to get what we were told was a simple Stage 1 tumor about 1.5 cm out of Kathy’s colon
- Waiting for that blessed pathology report that took 5 days from the time of surgery
- Waiting for the surgery to heal so we could get started with treatment
- Waiting for results from labs EVERY TIME we come to CTCA, knowing those results set the stage for how much chemo we get
- Waiting for results every three visits from CT scans to find if tumors are forming
- Waiting for the healing we believe has come to Kathy’s body
- Waiting for the fulfillment of His promises in all that we do
This morning as I was preparing to come to the hospital, I began counting the number of days since this journey began on April 17, 2009 when Kathy’s cancer was first discovered….553 days! Each of them filled with new challenges and moments of anticipation, anxiety, angst and grace. 553 days…such a long time…but almost instantly, I thought of Mark 5 and the woman who had issues for 12 years before she was made whole! Twelve (12) years=4,937 days!
- We have not been austracized by society because of Kathy’s illness…in fact, we have been loved, valued and cared for.
- We have not been forbidden from entering the house of worship to our God…in fact, we have been able to worship freely in both home and church.
- We have not exhausted all we have (to this point) on doctors without progress…in fact, we are more confident today that we are heading in the right direction.
When I thought about it, I realized our life, though filled many difficult and lonely moments, is not without value and though we wait, we are not waiting without hope!
- Hope in the power of our God who is near and providing Kathy and me daily grace and strength.
- Hope in the prayers of family, friends and loved ones who join with us in bombarding heaven for Kathy’s wholeness and complete healing.
- Hope in the truth of this life and its connection to the one that will come where there will be no sickness, no cancer, no moments of waiting.
So, sitting here in the infusion center waiting for the conclusion of this chemo round #21 to conclude, I worship to know that God remains our greatest joy and that in waiting, we find more grace and peace than we have ever known before!
- In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. (Psalms 5:3)
- We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. (Psalms 33:20)
- I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. (Psalms 40:1)
- I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.(Psalms 130:5-6)
Thanks for caring about Kathy and me.