21 Signs You Might Be a Terrible Christian

helpoppressedqz2I had a discussion with someone today who told smugly told me how much he loved when Mormons came to his door, so he could put them in their place. I said, “Aren’t those usually young kids just trying to fulfill their required mission?”

“Yep,” he said. “And they need to learn something about messing with a true Christian.”

It was on the way home I was thinking about this list.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely no one’s shining example of Christianity. But I still think there are some cultural examples of faith that actually hurt our cause (some would argue that blogs like this are one!). For the most part, I will admit that this is a list of things I find terribly annoying with a wonderful click-bait title (blogging wannabes take note).

You might be a terrible Christian if:

You love to put Mormons/Jehovah’s Witnesses in their place when they come knocking
You think the original language of the Bible was King James
You’re a one-issue voter
You think a banana is atheist kryptonite
You have ever said, “We should just turn that place into a parking lot (or glass).”
You demand that the culture caters to your holiday preferences
You think Jesus is a proponent of unregulated, free-market capitalism
You blame women when men lust
You have a foreign policy which gives Israel an unconditional free pass
You believe success and wealth is a sign of God’s approval
You have an “it’s all going to burn anyway” mindset about the environment
You don’t believe you have to leave a tip because you tithe (or else you leave a tract)
You think you’re a scientist because you read some Ken Ham books
You think your theology makes you an expert on sociology, psychiatry, sociology, anthropology, etc.
You think you’re being persecuted because someone disagrees with you
You think you can separate your business practice from your Christian convictions
You think you’re a really good example of Christianity
You think you’re exempted from Christ’s call to love your enemies
You want to end abortion and welfare
You laughed when Sarah Palin said, “Waterboarding is how we baptize terrorists.”
You think atheists just don’t believe in God because they’re mad at him

What did I miss? Leave me a comment. Feel free to also leave comments like, “Who do you think you are Mr. Judgmental!?”, “Humility demands that I say that I’m a terrible Christian”, “When you criticize the church,” and “No one’s good except the Lord. Therefore, we’re all equally terrible.”

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