Dude, Quit Telling Me About Your Smoking Hot Wife

It’s happening a lot lately. Young evangelical guys writing Facebook updates saying things like, “Date night with my smoking hot wife,” or pastors who can’t mention their wives without mentioning their looks and attractiveness.

Every time I see it, I get annoyed but I wasn’t sure why. So I reached out on Twitter to see if I was the only one who felt that way.

What are your thoughts when evangelical guys talk about their smoking hot wives?—
Jayson Bradley (@jaysondbradley) January 04, 2014

I was amazed at how many responses I received. Here are some a few that really moved me.

@jaysondbradley A horrid trend. As a teen, every youth speaker said this about his wife & I wondered what chance I had for marriage.—
Nicole Morgan (@unlikelymosaic) January 04, 2014

@jaysondbradley It's a pet peeve of mine b/c as an intelligent “non hot” female in seminary it made me feel less than and at a deficit.—
Esther Joy (@tweetsbymoi) January 04, 2014

@jaysondbradley It hurts when speaker during chapel goes on & on about the hotness of their wife but doesn't affirm gifted women in audience—
Esther Joy (@tweetsbymoi) January 04, 2014

I honestly hadn’t thought about this aspect. Women, who culture has already made self conscious about their looks and body image made more anxious in their place of worship.

We gather together to worship. It’s the one place where we should be focused on the things we have in common. It’s wrong to allow ourselves to be divided by the qualities that culture places so much value in, whether it’s our tax brackets or our how we look.

I know the argument would be that she’s your wife and you’re doing nothing wrong by glorying in her beauty. That may be true—it’s also prudent to have a retirement plan, but there’s never any reason to share how much is in your 401k from the pulpit.

The truth is what you’re trying to communicate and what is being heard isn’t always the same. Constant comments about your wife’s appearance can make some women wonder if they’re ever going to be good enough or pretty enough to find a mate. It tells them, “When it comes to relationships, the things valued by Christian men are no different than the things valued by any men.”

@jaysondbradley unnecessary, uncomfortable for the wife to be pointed out as sexually attractive before the whole church, & harmful to women—
Eli Rh