A (not so) long December
As many of you know, I am a pastor of a small church here in Nashville. The physical structures of the church and parsonage are older, and as with most old things are in need of some maintenance . The only problem is that many issues are not revealed (literally) until the damage is done. One does not think to inspect the floor until it caves in; roofs are not known to need replacing/repair until the decking drops to the ground. So it seems we are always behind in keeping up with the necessities of maintaining our church (though I must say this has afforded me a wealth of knowledge on DIY issues).
I have also in the last year or so started at least dozen books, and tonight at the time of this writings there are more than a dozen books sitting somewhere in my house with a bookmark (napkin, index card,restaurant receipt, etc.) placed somewhere in the first three chapters or so. I rarely read all of what I want to read out of magazines these days.Pod casts are about the only media I finish with any regularity (I did not find my ipod, but bought a new one).
My life feels a bit this way as well. I take the time to deal with one issue and the resolving of it can not be celebrated due to the three other things pressing in on my time and faculties. Thus very few things receive the attention they deserve. This leads to a small degree of paranoia, when one is always anticipating the other shoe to drop on a maintenance issue too far down the list.
All of these things are occurring while the entire world (my entire world) is spinning head long toward that date of only God's knowing when my baby girl will arrive. But really she is right here beside me even now in my wife's womb. She is even now a source of hope, even as her mother is a source of strength and encouragement.
Around the new year I wrote about Keith Green and wanting to be a better person. I am not sure I have attained such a lofty goal. This December has not been so long, and I am not sure if there is reason to believe that this year will be better than the last. But I have some problems with reason anyway. I don't think I have a reasonable faith. I am not sure what one is, or if you can really put those two words togethersencically anyway. Speaking of sense, I am not sure I am making any at the moment. I have felt a compulsion to blog, or write, or whatever for several days without knowing what to say, or if I have anything to say, and here is the fruit of that compulsion.
I do want to hang on to these moments as they passs.