Poser

I was one of those kids who purchased a really cool skateboard in the 80′s. In fact to be exact it was a Santa Cruz board that was designed by Claus Grabke. I could do two tricks on it. I could roll along on it and ride along on the back wheels. I know you are not impressed, either was I. I tried a few other tricks, but I never mastered them. I even tried a half pipe once, I fell, I bled, I never tried again.

I often felt like a poser, I kind of was one. I should have stuck with my Wal-Mart skateboard until I actually learned some tricks. I have a tendency to get the best thing and not even have the time to use it to its potential. Call me materialistic, a gadget guy, or what you want. You are probably right.

I think I am not alone in this idea of feeling like a poser. I have talked to quite a few people who want to embrace a more meaningful story, but they continue to hesitate with excuses.

On paper, I should not feel like a poser, yet I struggle with it. I teach over fifty children a week and I regularly mentor kids as well. Yet, I still come home and feel like a poser. I would like to think it is just the devil talking to me, but I keep coming back to the fact that I have have found my “good”. I struggle to find my “best”. I have a lot of friends who have found their best, taken a risk and are really doing well. I am inspired by them. I want to leap, but I am still developing my dream. I know this, it involves a strong connection between mentoring, pastoring, and education. I love reaching out to kids and families who have needs, it recharges and replenished my heart.

The times I feel least like a poser are when I am sitting down to eat lunch with a small group of our first graders. I sit there with some of the most encouraging people in my building, and we pour our hearts into the kids and listen to their stories. I love it and I can not wait to start our next group in two weeks! I also thoroughly enjoy working with the students that my colleagues and I work with. We have such a great time teaching them basketball and also teaching leadership by example. The kids in the club become the kids in the hall who say, “Hi!” and also come to me when they have good or bad news to share. I love being a part of their life, although at times I really wish and hope for a day when I can reach out to kids and share where my hope is.

I just want to keep plugging a long, and shaking off the poser label, by giving it my best each day. And not listening to you know who.

Will you join with me? Quit listening to the negative and try something new…