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We pastored in Turkey for almost five years and then moved to Italy for almost three years then my wife’s mother was terminally ill and we moved back to the states to see to her needs in Atlanta.

We underwent hardship in Turkey and in Italy. It looked like we were going to be caught in the Turkish-Cypriot conflict. The COG reassured us that we would be rescued if the need arose. Our Servicemen’s Center was off base in the city of Adana and the servicemen were afraid to travel away from the base.

We closed down and relocated to Italy and started a Servicemen’s Center there. All this was from 1974 to 1982.

We were isolated for seven years without Stateside connections. We had been assured that the COG would not abandon us in our isolation. My concern was with us getting a Executive Committee church appointment. The Executive liaison was J frank Culpepper` and from the European office we were reassured that we would get a good assignment.

We had a healthy 1976 Opal Rekord diesel and owed $1500 on the car. I left the car with the European office with the title signed over to a minister there. He would sell the car and send me the money so I could pay off the loan.

We went to Atlanta and then off to the 1982 General Assembly. We were told we would get a church at the assembly. Bro. Culpepper let me know he was busy, understandably so, but we were eager and waited till he could get back to us. We anxiously waited the duration of the GA and at the last day Bro. Culpepper told us that he had a church in East St. Louis. We were of the notion that if we were not pleased with the offer we could wait for another.

Out of nowhere a gentleman who I didn’t know and he did not know me but having heard of me being offered the church he came quickly to me and explained how we didn’t need to take this church. The reason he gave me was very convincing. I returned to Bro Culpepper with my refusal. He shortly, curtly told me I would have to give him a call after the assembly.

I waited for a few days for him to get back and get settled in. I called him asking about a church appointment. He told me in strong words that he offered me a church and I refused it. The words he said hurt me deeply, he said, “my obligation to you is over.” I pleaded with him that we had served faithfully in Europe for over seven years and I felt we were due the consideration of a church. He continued his harsh words and I said, Brother Culpepper, this call is on my dime and I am not going to waste anymore on this call and promptly hung up.

It was an awful feeling of abandonment, left in Atlanta with my wife’s mother who had recuperated sufficiently. We had no contact with anyone.

Now I know the comment flow from this will be on me. We were naive and believed we had served God by faith. It was a terrible lesson.

You’ll say, “you should have taken the church and not turned it down.” I have wrestled with that…”what if we had taken it” All we had was what we had brought back in suit cases from Europe. We had personal belongings which were scattered around. Boxes of books were in my parents attic.

This is a part of what I struggle in my dreams and it won’t go away. I know you will say I am angry, get over it, move on.

I’m retired and 70 years old!

Discussion

14 comments

  1. Its a hurt, we are human. I have been hurt, I choose to stay away from the people that have hurt me. I don’t want them coming at me again. I have long forgive them, just don’t want to be treated like that again. I don’t feel like I’m wrong. If a dog bites you, you stay on your guard around it.

  2. I think you have to be led by God to take a church. Years ago the pastors really prayed about it. It seems now days it is just about seeing how big a church you can get and who you know.

  3. This hurt, I know it did. How did you deal with those hurt feelings?

  4. Charles Page says:

    That is a good story

  5. I am sorry you and your wife had to go through this hurtful situation. May the Lord help you to heal.

  6. I’m sorry this happened. I’m disappointed in the people who caused this turmoil in your lives. I knew of them but did not personally know them. I think maybe God sent you a warning at the General Assembly to not take that church. I think you made the right decision by not taking it, so stop beating yourself up over it and second guessing your decision. You still serve the same God that watching over y’all then. I learned at a very young age that hurts are much worse when the devil uses Christians to hurt other Christians.
    I’m so glad you have told your story publicly. You are family. I knew your story already but so many didn’t .
    I have learned with my hurt, that by using my story to show how God is always there, even though sometimes silent, is still working in the background .

  7. Brenda Smith says:

    Bro Charles, in reading your words, I can see your great hurt, but I also see an error on your part in accepting the one person’s opinion of the church you were offered. You do not say whether or not you contacted anyone in that church or even the former pastor to inquire about the church. Perhaps you did, you did not elaborate. Either way, a great hurt was done: to the church being offered by the opinion of the one man and then to you by the Bro at HQ by not offering another opportunity Hindsight does not always present a clear vision of what could have been if you had accepted and contended with whatever troubles were awaiting at the church mentioned. Dwelling now on hurts and what-ifs is only continued bitter food for thought. It is long past time for letting go and letting that wound heal. Love to you Brother.

  8. Gary Stacey says:

    There have been many unfortunate incidents such as your’s through the years. I can instantly name four excellent ministers who left the Church of God and served other organizations. More leap to mind including my own wrestle with bitterness. I will not, in fact it no longer is an issue for me, recount the details, but there was a process I had to travel to the place where I stand in my retirement. BTW, my name on Twitter is Grateful Gary. I am.

  9. Charles if it is permissible can I ask where was your ministry station before Turkey also what church
    was offered to you at the assembly?

  10. Charles Page says:

    I was CED at Fairborn, Ohio COG
    IDK it was a church in East St Louis

  11. Drew Banacos says:

    I am sorry this happened to you. Disagreements aside, this shouldn’t happen to anyone.

  12. Charles do you think it might be helpful to you to talk to Raymond in private about this since it is his Father. I have know Raymond since he was a teen. In fact when Raymond is not in Cleveland he lives about 25 miles from me. He also encouraged me to call him Raymond.

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