The Thorn of Lacking Self-Trust

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” – Proverbs 3:5-6

Growing up and going to school, there was only one thing I was always tempted to do: cheat. The teacher would always warn us that there would be a huge exam coming up the next week, so we would go over everything in the test the week before. I have always been the type of person to cram the night before. I hated studying with a passion. I didn’t like reading growing up. My parents would always say to me, “Stewart, you can do it! Just try and believe in yourself.” 

I remember listening to the teacher over and over again talk about material that would be on the test, but for some reason, I would leave the classroom more confused than I was before. Why did I feel this way? Why did I try so hard to listen the teacher and get nothing out of it? Why did I always grow up shooting for the biggest career when I knew deep down I would never achieve it. Come on now, we have all dealt with this at some point in our lives. We feel like this, because we don’t believe in a BIG God that can take a LITTLE me and you and turn us into GREATER things! 

We don’t believe in ourselves. We don’t think we can do it. We think we have to have the nicest clothes, or the biggest house in order for God to use us. I remember when I was in middle school, and my grandma took me to Hollister for the first time and I was amazed. I mean, I had never seen clothes like this before. I remember picking out five shirts that I liked, buying them, and wearing those five shirts every single week for the next month, until someone I knew, made fun of me in computer class, because I didn’t have anymore “nice” clothes to wear. But, since when did God choose the healthy, rich, or best looking? NEVER! God chose to use a little shepherd boy named David, who only knew how to take care of sheep and clean up after them, and use to kill Goliath, and become King one day. God chose to use a baby boy who was born in a manger to save the world. God chose to use the poor and simple to dumbfound the wise! Can’t you see that this is our God?! 

Growing up, society told me that “I would never make it”. Always told me “I was a failure”, and the truth is…I am. I am nothing. I am a nobody, but with God, I am everything. Once I found myself in God, it didn’t matter who people thought I was, it didn’t matter what I wore, or how I spoke. All that mattered to me was that God chose me. At that time, I didn’t care how and why, all I cared about was that I was accepted. 

My parents were right, “just try and believe in yourself.” But, to add to that statement, I want to say, “trust God, try, and believe in yourself.” For me, I’ve come to find out in my life that trusting God is the most peaceful, rewarding, and fulfilling thing you will ever do, because at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what people think. All that matters is what God thinks of you. God says you are accepted. God says you are new. God says He is with you. God says that He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. God says He is more than enough for you. God says there is no other way besides Him. God says storms and trials will come, but He is everlasting. Your self worth is only found in God!

Trust Him, because in Him, your impossible will become possible!