How to Win Friends & Influence People
In Shabbach MC we are assigned a book to read each month as well as completing a chapter summary. This month we are reading Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends & Influence People" The first part of this book focuses on "three fundamental techniques in handling people." Don't criticize, condemn or complain, Give honest and sincere appreciation, Arouse in the other person an eager to want.
"Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment." Criticizing someone is easy but finding good in their fault can be difficult. We can often go about our day casting blame where we think blame is due. It is much easier to make someone else the cause for our pain then ourselves. Author Dale Carnegie touched on the subject by using Al Capone as an example. Al Capone said " I have spent the best part of my life giving people the lighter pleasures, helping them have a good time, and all I get is abuse." It was easier for Al Capone to blame other people for where he was than to see that he was his biggest enemy. Instead of looking for places to cast the blame this week try to focus on what you can fix in yourself, and/or find good in the person who, in your eyes, is to blame.
" We provide them with roast beef and potatoes to build energy, but we neglect to give them kind words of appreciation that would sing in their memories for years like the music of the morning stars." Are you spewing flattery or giving genuine appreciation? The definition of "flattery" is " excessive and insincere praise, that is given to further one's own interests." Are you saying nice things for your own selfish motives or are your intentions true? This week is a good week to focus on others; Seek after random acts of kindness as each day passes. Carpe Diem.
" If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own." There are a lot of people who are only concerned with themselves. Someone who can put aside their own selfish desires for others is admirable. Philippians 2:3 " Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves." Even if you don't agree with a point of view, its wise to be able to understand other prospectives. We spend enough time wrapped in our own busy lives but we MUST try to train ourselves to follow in His footsteps and we will discover a life of selflessness.
Have a blessed week,
Verse of the week: Philippians 2:4 - Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.