I think I have a good grasp on blasphemy of…

I think I have a good grasp on blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is but there is a slight part of me that isn’t fully sure. I have been struggling with the thought of perhaps I’ve committed it. It scares me beyond belief to think that. The reason why I am thinking this is because I have been learning lots about the NAR and have seen some vile things that I am pretty sure was quite demonic. My heart is to never persecute the body of Christ or hate what is of God. However, I’ve seen some stuff that I really think is demonic and I’m afraid because just in case I have committed blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. But I have compared some of these events to the Word of God and it’s so far from it. If somebody could give me a peace of mind or more clarity regarding my situation please and thank you.

I accepted Jesus 6 years ago as my Lord and Saviour and was baptized soon after. I truly want to love and trust Christ with all my heart and serve him completely.

Prayer request:
If you feel led I would greaaaatly appreciate some prayer for this season I’m going through. I haven’t been feeling so close to the Lord the past year; but I’d say more recently the last months. I’ve been learning a lot about false teachers and Apologetics but kind of neglected my personal time with the Lord. In addition,there has been a lot of tests and I’ve been tempted and gave in to sin. I’m really afraid to lose the conviction of the Holy Spirit and I want a true repentant heart. Also my faith has been wavering quite a bit and I feel really ashamed for that. My heart so deeply wants to love Christ with all I am but my actions and thoughts don’t really model that. I want to feel so close to the Lord again, feel in love and feel like a friend of his (even though before I didn’t think I was close to him, but now I realize I was closer or at different place with him I prefer than I am in now ?) If my brothers and sisters in the Lord could pray for conviction of the Holy Spirit, true and deep repentance, strength to resist sin, unwavering faith in Christ, a heart that deeply loves and seeks Christ above all else and peace. Please and thank you. I cant tell you how much I’m really needing prayer, it would mean so much to me. Thank you again. ?

All my love to you ?

Ps. I apologize for the lengthy post.