Even with the new Medlin crosswalk, not all drivers are completely considerate of the pedestrians attempting to cross Ocoee Street.
Thus, I propose a new solution: a zipline.
Mounted out the eastern fourth-floor stairway window on a platform, the zipline would be one of the "sitting" variety, where the user wraps their legs around a multi-point bar and lays horizontally to traverse Ocoee Street in the air.
The zipline would lead across Ocoee Street to a newly-constructed platform directly across the street and Science Building lot. One would dismount the platforms via stairs leading up and down from each.
This solution would provide a fun, easy solution to the crosswalk problem, without having to actually cross the street and risk being hit by a car.
Now who's with me?
Remember that "lighthearted" part of my writing goal? This is one of those posts, intended entirely as a joke.