Pet Peeves

FROM M.D. MCMULLIN

Pet Peeves: Forks/Teeth, Pantyhose/Sandals, Pastoral #FB Status

I have more than 3, but tonight I want to explore 3 pet peeves that I have.

1 – Forks on teeth – I absolutely HATE the sound of forks being scraped on teeth. It sends chills through my entire body.

A particularly long grind on the ole metal fork can make me fall to the floor in a fetal position. Just thinking about it gives me chills. It’s not just on MY teeth, but the teeth of anyone near me. The last time I went to the dentist they had a new instrument which they said replaced their toothbrush. It was basically a piece of metal that vibrated really fast. After 10-15 minutes of the dental hygiene equivalent of waterboarding, I was prepared to tell every secret I knew or thought I knew. I think at one point during the torture I may have shared Osama Bin Ladin’s current location.

2 – Pantyhose with open toed shoes – really grosses me out. I assume this is not part of appropriate women’s fashion, but even if it is, it just looks gross to me. I mean seriously? If it’s cold enough outside to warrant the nylons, then perhaps it also warrants shoes that cover the whole foot.

Pantyhose and sandals defy any logic in my mind. This is from the guy who has no problem when old men where dress socks with shorts or when people where socks with sandals. I can give a little there. Old men are exempt from any societal fashion norms, and white socks with sandals could be explaned as “European”. Pantyhose in general are fine. Maybe you want the “control” that panthose offer, they make things for that tht don’t have to be seen. No one (except Jessica Alba) should be wearing nude color stockings with open toed shoes.

3 – Pastors who use their FaceBook status (and/or Twitter) to talk about how “excited” they are about their next event/service – annoys me. FB and Twitter statuses can be cheesy enough without pastors thinking it’s a way to drum up excitement about church. “I’m really jazzed about service tomorrow at ________ Community Church located at 1000 Jim Bob Hwy” or “can’t wait to see what God does tomorrow at the 8am or 10:30 am service at _________ Church of My God”. Some at least try to be subtle about it like it’s not shameless promotion.

I don’t think a lot of people who are riding the fence about coming to your church/event are going to be swayed by your FaceBook status. I could be wrong but I think we have 1 of 2 things at play here: 1) they’re trying to psych themselves up about going to church or at least trying to put on the good face; 2) they’ve hit desperation stage of trying to increase their numbers and they figure shameless promotion can’t hurt. Have we gotten to the place where we really think a 140 characters or less promo is going to turn things around for your church?

We just beg people to come to church. Why? Seriously . . . why do we BEG people to come to church on Sunday mornings, Sunday evenings, or Wednesday evenings? I’ll just leave that question out there for you to answer honestly amongst yourselves.
“Well maybe the FB status just reminds people so they don’t forget?” you say. Do they have to be reminded when American Idol comes on? Do they forget when it’s payday? I don’t buy it.
I will now publish this post, which will update my Twitter and Facebook status to promote how excited I am about my newest blog entry!


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